You Meddling Kids!
by McAWrites
Summary: A one-shot, or possibly a series of one-shots in which The Warbler's solve mysteries.
1. Bingo!

Standard Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.

* * *

Bingo!

As the guys entered the choir room, they all wondered why David had called this emergency meeting. Had somebody died? Did Wes want to rearrange the set list _again_? The Warblers would never call an emergency meeting without having a good cause. The boys sat in chairs and on couches murmuring quietly amongst themselves while they waited for the rest of the group to trickle through the doors.

Once the final Warbler had entered the room, Wes banged his gavel on the desk and called the meeting to order.

"Gentlemen, please give your undivided attention as Warbler David takes the floor."

"Thank you Councilman," David said solemnly, rising to address the group. "Gentlemen, I'm sure all of you know of my Grandmother, Ms. Edna. If you haven't met her personally, I would almost guarantee that you have enjoyed some of her famous peanut butter cookies."

David paused for a moment to take in the reactions to his statements thus far. Several of the guys were nodding their heads, and Thad even inquired about the woman's health.

"Oh, she's quite well, thank you. Anyway, I requested this emergency meeting because, tonight her monthly book club meeting conflicts with her Monday Night Bingo game, and she has asked me to go in her stead and try to find proof that a man named Lou Ficus is cheating."

"How does one even go about cheating at Bingo?" Trent wondered, crinkling his nose.

"That's what we're going to find out," was David's reply, "That is, if you guys are in."

Later…

Wes and David entered the Community Center wearing their best 'old man' disguises. Wes wore a mustard yellow and brown plaid sweater vest and a fake beard, while David sported a grey cardigan with pleated trousers and a fake mustache. Both boys had chosen to complete these ensembles with glasses and walking canes.

The pair had no trouble getting in thanks to the fake IDs that Flint had Photoshopped for them.

Flint had opted not to participate because he already had a criminal record. Thad and Trent had also opted out of tonight's mission citing homework and the fact that he 'just didn't want to' respectively as their reasons.

The two boys collected their Bingo card packets and sat down behind the man named Lou Ficus. David snapped a quick photo with his cellphone and texted it to Nick. As the Warbler's resident AV nerd, Nick was trying to get into the room where he could view all of the building's security footage. For a Community Center, the place had enough security personnel running around to make the boys suspect that the people running it were up to something shady, say protecting the Declaration of Independence from Nicholas Cage or maybe an old man creating an elaborate Bingo cheating ring or something.

"We have a visual," Wes said into the tiny microphone attached to the headset connected to his walkie-talkie.

"I do as well," Jeff contributed. He was dressed in black and had perched in the branches of an old tree that had grown close to the building. He was watching Ficus through binoculars. "It looks like some of his squares are already stamped."

"I've got Margaret's glasses," Blaine announced. He had been flirting with the Bingo caller for close to half an hour. Ms. Edna had told David that the woman could not see a thing without her glasses. The hope was that if Blaine could get his hands on them, he might be able to use his charm and convince her to let him call out the numbers tonight. "Wes, J, can either of you confirm which numbers Ficus has already marked?"

"He's marked his diagonal from left to right, but I can't read the numbers from here." Jeff responded several minutes later, during which Blaine took to the stage and began to draw out the first numbers.

"B-25."

"I've got that that one!" David whispered excitedly to Wes who was straining to see what was marked on Ficus' card. An old woman to his right motioned for David to 'shush.'

"I've got the security camera zoomed in on his card," Nick's voice echoed through their headsets. "He's got B-32, I-97, free space, G-4, and O-12 marked."

"O-12," Blaine announced to the room, turning the little piece over in his hand. He noticed that there was a tiny yellow mark on the back that was barely visible. 'Jackpot,' he thought to himself as he eyed the bowl of numbers to see if any more of the little marks stood out to him. Into his walkie-talkie headset he murmured a single word, "Pieces."

It wasn't much, but Wes jumped on it.

"Nick, check the cameras. See if you can find anybody tampering with the Bingo pieces."

"On it, Captain," Nick's voice sounded in his ear.

From outside there came a loud crack, followed by glass breaking and what sounded like a colorful stream of mangled curse words. Every single head whipped towards the window in the back of the room.

An announcement was made that a tree had fallen onto the building and that it had only caused minimal damage.

"Eh Jeff, you still alive out there?" Wes asked into his microphone.

"The jig is up, kiddos," an unfamiliar voice answered back.

"The Bingo Caller marked the chips. She's in on it too!" Nick shouted frantically through their headsets. "Blaine, she's on her way now, I think that you should probably run. Abort mission everyone!"

"Only the Captain gets to decide when we abort the mission," Wes answered testily as Margaret the Bingo Caller walked into the room flanked by several security guards. "Abort mission! Abort the mission!"

Chaos ensued as the security guards scrambled through the masses of Bingo players to get to Blaine and the rest of the Warblers.

"The window!" David shouted, removing his sweater in order to wrap it around his fist and punch out the rest of the glass that the tree limb hadn't broken.

"David, we're on the third floor!" Blaine reminded him as the two boys as well as Wes watched the security guards start to close in on them.

"Yeah, but Grandma Edna brought a ladder." David replied with a grin as he stepped over the window ledge and began to climb down. Blaine and Wes watched in awe and then followed, surprised to discover Ms. Edna and her book club waiting for them on the ground below.

"We considered coming in earlier when your friend fell out of the tree, but we didn't want to ruin your operation," Ms. Edna explained once the last boy's feet were on the ground.

"We still don't have any proof," David sighed bitterly, looking up at all of the Bingo participants that were now looking down at them from the window.

"Yes we do," Nick said breathlessly, running up to the group holding out a thumb drive. "It's all right here. Ficus had a deal to share the money with the caller as well as several of the security guards."

"The numbers that are called the most have little yellow dots on the back," Blaine added, "so that the caller is sure to always pick out the right ones."

"Ficus' packet was already stamped when he received it, he just wasn't counting on Margaret losing her glasses." Jeff added, looking a bit worse for wear as he moved out of the grasp of a guilty-looking security guard while gingerly cradling his left arm.

"It's true!" several of the players had looked through the Bingo chip bowl and discovered the yellow dots. Another had apprehended Ficus' card packet and was now displaying the fact that it had indeed been previously stamped.

"I knew he was a cheater!" Ms. Edna announced triumphantly.

"I would have gotten away with it too," Lou Ficus snarled, "if it wasn't for that crazy broad and you meddling kids!"

"How original," Wes sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Come on kids, our work here is done," Ms. Edna declared as she looked proudly at her grandson and his friends. "I have a fresh batch of peanut butter cookies cooling at the house."

END

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A/n: Well, that was fun to write. I'm going to leave this marked as 'in progress', because I **might** come back and write another 'Warbler's Solve a Mystery' one-shot (possibly even a series, I don't know...) at some point in the future.

If you liked this story, please review. If you didn't like this story, please review. I hope everyone has a great week!


	2. Puppies!

A/N: Remember that this is a series of unconnected one-shots centered around a common theme, and that it is meant to be silly and slightly unrealistic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee! Or Twilight. Or the Hunger Games. Or any successful franchises at all for that matter.

* * *

Puppies!

"Order!" Wes shouted over the others, "I will have order!"

The Warblers were having another emergency meeting. It was anyone's guess what this one was about. Just yesterday, David had called one because Wes had had a nervous breakdown and wanted to throw out their entire set list for sectionals in favor of playing patriotic songs on kazoos. They had then proceeded to spend three hours practicing this new set list before Wes had realized that he was acting crazy and apologized.

Now here they were; first day of fall break, 8'o clock in the morning gathered in the Duval's living room. The council wore their blazers with jeans while the rest of the boys wore street clothes and Jeff wore pajamas and looked as if he had literally rolled out of bed right before coming to the meeting.

"The floor is yours, Warbler Nick," Wes declared formally, banging his gavel on the coffee table for emphasis.

"That is MAHOGANY!" Thad shrieked, doing his best Effie Trinket impression.

"Thank you councilmen," Nick said stiffly when the laughter had finally died down. "I know that it is fall break, and I know that most of you stayed up really late last night, but could somebody please wake Trent up?"

On either side of the sleeping Warbler, both Flint and Jeff flashed Nick a thumbs up. Then, working as a team the two boys unceremoniously shoved Trent off of the couch that the three had been sitting on.

"Sorry buddy," Jeff told him, "if I have to be awake for this, so does everyone else."

"Truth." Blaine murmured, stifling a yawn.

The meeting was starting to lose focus, so Wes banged his gavel once more and called for order.

"Anyway," Nick cleared his throat, "the reason I've called all of you here today is that somebody in this neighborhood is stealing puppies. My little sister Savanna was having a really hard time with me going away to school, so our parents bought a puppy to keep her company. Apparently Mr. Cheese Fries has been dog napped.

"Why did your sister name her puppy Mr. Cheese Fries?" Blain asked, his nose crinkled in confusion.

"She was experimenting with veganism, and she was hungry!" Nick snapped, "Can we please focus here?"

"Probably not," Trent mumbled to Flint, who stifled a laugh.

"What about a neighborhood watch?" David suggested, ignoring the boys goofing off on the couch, "you said that several puppies had gone missing?" Nick nodded, "Well then, some of the neighbors would probably want to help us find them, wouldn't they?"

"Nick," Jeff interrupted," Do you still have that dog suit from when we were in Middle School?"

"You mean last year?" Nick replied dryly, "I do, but…- J, you're brilliant!"

While Jeff tried to look modest, the rest of the warblers wondered just what these two lifelong friends were talking about.

"Flint, can we count on you and Trent to set up a surveillance system?" David asked.

"Totally. I've got my van all rigged up and everything," Flint agreed. Trent groaned. He had been looking forward to lying in his bed all week re-reading the twilight series.

"Perfect," Wes declared, banging his gavel for no real reason, "David, Blaine and I will get started on recruiting a neighborhood watch, Nick and Jeff can do whatever it is that they do, and Flint, Trent and Thad will monitor the neighborhood. Does everybody have their walkie-talkies?"

Nick and Jeff exchanged a look.

"Actually," Nick said, "Jeff and I will be doing some deep undercover work. We're going to have to go off the grid on this one."

* * *

Flint, Thad and Trent had parallel parked Flint's van outside a house towards the middle of the street. They were watching the monitors showing the footage from the wireless cameras that they had set up all around the neighborhood. Now all they had to do was sit and watch.

Right now on camera one; Wes's neighborhood watch, clad in highlighter yellow safety vests, was having a meeting. Flint chuckled to himself, the councilman would use any excuse to bang his gavel. He could see Blaine standing behind him holding a small wooden block and cringing whenever Wes got too close to his fingers. However, the real hilarity was occurring on camera two.

"Trent, you've got to get a look at this! Flint snorted, his eyes glued to the screen.

"Shh!" Trent complained, "I'm getting to the good part."

"It's Twilight," Thad argued, "There are no good parts."

Trent gasped.

"You take that back right now or I'm-"

They didn't find out what Trent would do, because he never finished the sentence. The other boy had finally looked up and caught a glimpse of the train wreck on camera two.

"Oh my Google, is that-" Trent was flabbergasted, to say the least.

Camera two was currently focused on the Duval's driveway, which was Mr. Cheese Fries' last known location. Currently waddling out from the garage was the most unusual looking creature that they had ever seen. It was grayish white and had fur that reminded Flint of a few hundred dirty mops sewn together. It was moving awkwardly and it appeared to be pregnant.

* * *

Wes, David and Blaine had managed to find fifteen volunteers willing to help them keep an eye out for suspicious activities in the neighborhood. They had divided the group into three smaller groups of six with each of them in the lead.

"So far there isn't anything happening on my end," David's voice crackled in Wes and Blaine's ears. They had divided the street into thirds, David's group covered one end, Blaine's covered the middle and Wes's covered the other end. The set up for each group was that while most of the group members hid in hedges around the houses of various neighborhood watchmen watching through binoculars, two or three of them would patrol the streets with flashlights.

"I think Niff is on the move," Blaine said, barely able to keep the laughter out of his voice. "A huge pregnant dog monstrosity is heading your direction, Wes.

"Thanks Blaine," Wes replied. "I don't know what we're going to do with those two."

"Maybe somebody will fall for it," Blaine suggested.

"Right," Wes snorted, "and I'm a purple dinosaur."

* * *

"Why do I always have to be the butt when we wear costumes?" Jeff complained as the friends made their way down the street. Nick was walking upright while Jeff had to crawl on his hands and knees.

"Because; you're too tall to be the front," Nick replied.

"That's fair," Jeff conceded, his voice sounding slightly pained, "but did you really have to eat Taco Bell?"

Shh!" Nick hissed suddenly, "There's somebody behind us."

The boys continued down the street for a ways to make sure that it wasn't just some person out for their evening stroll.

"Nice doggy," a woman's voice said soothingly from Nick's right. She reached out a hand for him to sniff. When she reached down to scratch his back it tickled and Jeff had to bite his sleeve to keep from giggling. The woman then attached a collar and a leash. "Such a sweet doggy. You're coming with me."

* * *

"I can't believe she fell for that," Trent commented, his eyes now glued to the computer screen in the van. Flint had turned on his Walkie- Talkie and was informing Wes, David and Blaine about the most recent events.

"It's an average looking female." He was saying. "Totally average. Average height, build. Straight brown hair hanging limply in her face. Maybe in her early thirties? Has to be blind though, I mean, did you see that costume?"

Suddenly the third screen came to life. Trent looked to Flint for an explanation.

"Niff Cam," Flint said. "Those two are always getting into something, and I figured that it might be fun to watch."

"Hold on," Flint told Wes. He released his microphone and turned to Thad, "pause camera two."

Flint then sat down and began rapidly pressing buttons. He zoomed in on the woman's image and took a screen shot. "I'm sending you a picture of the suspect now, Wes."

* * *

Wes stared incredulously at the picture Flint had sent. The neighborhood watch had regrouped and were now sitting in lawn chairs in the Duval's front yard sipping hot chocolate.

"Isn't that Ms. Moresky?" Savanna Duval asked, peering over Wes's shoulder as she refilled his mug.

"Wasn't she in your group?" Blaine asked Wes, his eyebrows furrowed as he tried to remember.

"I thought it was a bit odd for her to come out tonight," Mr. Brown, and elderly man from David's group commented, "Trudy almost never leaves her house these days."

"The only time I ever met the woman was last Christmas Eve when Nick convinced us to go Christmas caroling," Mrs. Duval said thoughtfully, "she came out with a bowl of candy, told us that our costumes were very scary and went back inside. I think she thought it was Halloween."

"I've always said that something wasn't right about that woman," a nasally voice screeched from across the yard. A skinny woman with gray hair wearing a housecoat was making her way through the crowd. She was wearing some sort of skin cream and her hair was in curlers. "If I find out that Trudy Moresky had anything to do with the disappearance of my Pooky Bear, I'm calling the authorities."

"Oh calm down Mother," Mrs. Duval declared, sighing heavily. "Pooky Bear died two months ago. He was an old dog. I had the boys bury him in the back yard."

Suddenly from the end of the street came the sound of many barking dogs.

* * *

"Pretty doggy," the woman continued to coo as she led Nick and Jeff in their giant dog costume into her house and down the steps to her basement. "You look like you're going to pop any day now!"

She left them alone at the bottom of a dark stairwell.

"I always knew being friends with you would one day lead to my death in some psychopath's basement." Jeff said conversationally as the boys separated. Nick held the dogs head in his lap and leaned against the wall. That was when something started licking his arm.

"J, there's something licking me!" he gasped, absolutely terrified. Giant spiders didn't have tongues, did they?

Jeff used the flashlight app on his phone to shed some light on the situation. He began to laugh. Nick was so afraid of the tiny speckled puppy licking his arm that his eyes were closed and he looked about ready to piss himself.

In fact, a quick count told him that there were about fifteen puppies in the basement with them.

Nick was now trembling and making little whimpering sounds with his knees clenched to his chest.

"Nick, open your eyes and look around," Jeff ordered his friend.

"But J, if I don't look at the giant spider with the slobbery wet tongue, it might not eat me."

"Dude, there is no giant spider."

"Are you sure?"

"Even I wouldn't joke with you about spiders."

"Okay," slowly Nick opened one eye and then the other. He looked down and squealed. "Mr. Cheese Fries!

While Nick reunited with the enthusiastic puppy, Jeff began looking for a way out. He didn't think that the way they had come in was an option, but he quickly discovered that there was a second door. He tried the knob and found it unlocked.

"Nick!" he called to his friend as he held the door wide open, "try and herd the puppies this way."

The puppies, many of which had not been outside in days, did not require much convincing. Once they discovered the open door they didn't hesitate to run through it. Nick, Jeff and Mr. Cheese Fries were the last out. As they stepped out into the cool night air they heard the door at the top of the stairs slam open and a mangled cry rang out.

"Run!" Jeff encouraged the puppies, ready to do the same himself as the footsteps reached the bottom of the stairs. He looked up just in time to see the large crowd that had gathered around the house. Many of the people were now holding squirming puppies who seemed very happy to see them.

"You no good rotten- "

"Hello Trudy," Mrs. Duval said, a frightening smile gracing her face, "Thank you for helping us find Mr. Cheese fries here. Savanna was absolutely devastated to find him missing."

"Yes," someone else called, "and my Spot. I don't know what I would do without her."

"Fifi!"

"Rover!"

"Hermione!"

"You can't prove anything," Ms. Moresky said coldly, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. "I could just as easily accuse these boys of breaking into my home."

"We have all the proof we need right here," Nick replied, holding up the head of the dog costume. He fumbled with something on the nose and moments later pulled off what looked like a tiny black dot.

"That is a camera," Flint explained, "We were monitoring the footage in my van. That's how we found out where the puppies were. I can't believe you fell for the ol' pregnant dog trick Ms. Moresky, their costume isn't realistic at all."

"The setup she had in the basement would make it nearly impossible for the puppies to escape," Jeff explained, "their little legs aren't long enough to navigate the stairs yet and they don't have thumbs. All I had to do was open the back door and put up with a bit of flatulence."

"What I don't understand though, Trudy, is why you dognapped all of these puppies in the first place," Grandma Duval asked sadly, "didn't you even think about how it would make the owner feel?"

Ms. Moresky looked upset. She hadn't thought about anyone but herself. "I was lonely." The woman spat. "I can't stand being around people and I was sick of my own company. One day this little puppy wandered up to my front porch and I just thought 'why not?' If anyone had really cared for it, then they never would have let it out of their sight!"

"That still doesn't give you the right," Savanna said angrily as she clutched Mr. Cheese Fries tightly in her arms.

"Well I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you nosey neighbors," Ms. Moresky snarled. She then turned to the group of teenage boys leading the pack, "and you meddling kids!"

"We'll be watching you, Trudy," Mr. Brown informed the lady, turning to lead the group away. Grandma Duval turned to Ms. Moresky and using her pointer and her middle fingers, she pointed first at her own eyes and then at the dog napper twice before following her friends and family down the street.

END!

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A/n: I know that this is a little late, though I doubt anybody was really disappointed when there were no new updates from me to be found in their inboxes last night. My fanbase just isn't that big ( _wishful thinking_ Yet?). However, when I say that I'm going to do something, I do try to get it done. That being said, my attempt at 50,000 words to a story in 30 days is taking up most of my writing time (and I'm BEHIND!) so my posting schedule will probably be off by a few days for the next two weeks. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

As always if you liked the story please review. If you didn't like the story please review. I hope everyone has a great week!


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